There's no denying my intrigue

When it comes to different cultures I am hooked. I love to hear and smell all the different kinds of music and foods that other cultures have. I was exposed to so much after high school that opened up a whole new door of possibilities for me. I wasn't even aware that I was into other cultures until beauty school came around. I am so taken by the slants of the eyes or the way the bone structure is set up. I loved seeing the differences among the similarities. I was pulled in right away when I left work in a small structured town to a huge melting pot of different cultures at the gym. It was as soon as you walked in you were overwhelmed by the intense modge-podge of ethnic backgrounds. I was in love. The only way to describe it is like a kid in a candy store. I wasn't particularly attracted to any one type. I liked it all. I have always been sensitive to seeing everything all at one time as if my sense of sight is like an X-men super power. I desired the intensity one look at a time. Have you ever been that real with yourself that you can describe what goes on in that noggin? I mean really comprehend what comes over the human body that allows us to develop an understanding of who we are at the core of our thoughts. I am enthralled by the younger version of me, (which really was held back for so long) finding out what I liked and didn't like about different types of ethnic backgrounds came late in my life. God forbid I had been taught anything outside of going to school and church. I was thrown into fending for myself at such a young age that whether I liked it or not my ability to have too much to choose from just offered up more fun for "ME". I am 35 now and when I look back at how innocent my thoughts were at the age of 21 I also see how easily I was set up to fail. Not because any one person, my parents or mentors had control over me. No, because I wasn't taught to love myself in a healthy way. Above all else, to keep myself healthy so that I could take that healthy vibrant woman to everyone I met. Life isn't about control. It's about connection. To connect to the mind & body, then to learn to make decisions based on learning the best of those things. Sure I would have made mistakes and I did. It wouldn't have come out of spite or ignorance. (That's the whole key right there) You can fight me all you want on the subject, but my mission now is to offer up what I've experienced in my life time about 6 months ahead of schedule for someone like my step son, who is about to go through similar situations. Now he has someone he can honestly say has offered up some sort of concept of what he is about to face as his body grows, he develops sexually, he is learning his interests etc.. I don't just wait til the situation arises, I offer up a gentle awareness for him so he doesn't step into something that would force him to be secretive or ashamed. I want him to know he isn't alone. I want him to know there's a process to everything and a reason for fighting the urge to live in secret or shame. To come up out of that undertone of our society and to work against the confusion. The only way to truly learn about yourself is to make a mistake but to also have the opportunity to have someone talk you through it. Have open communication for learning purposes. I love the conversations I have with this young vibrant boy, who any minute now will be walking the young teen years with me. I know what it was like not knowing how to handle all the changes in my body or my mind. I will always offer up my experience first so he knows there's someone out there who cares about how he may or may not feel. It's life changing when you spend time being introspective for the sole purpose of sharing what you've learned with others. My life has changed into a proactive plan as opposed to a reactive plan. I want to be intentional to think before I do. You might sit there and think as adults we all do that or you feel bad for me that I do not. Hello! Our entire country is in need of proactive thought, so there's no way more of us are thinking before we are doing. No no....We need an over haul in families to see the value of a human being the minute they are born. The human being is valuable to us all. Not just the immediate family structure. We need to be taught everything has an outcome. So when we are making decisions, it has long term affects that can come to haunt us in the future..... I saw the world with rose colored glasses and enjoyed the growth of my twenties. I look back on that decade with delight. It wasn't always a delight to go through it but it's entirety is beautiful. I am seeing my thirties in a similar light. Each day isn't easy to accomplish every goal you've set, or to be intentional to do all that is on your to do list. I just hope that as I look back on my thirties one day I'll have the same satisfaction I do over my 20's. I'm only half way through. Stay tuned.