How do you get over an old one??? You get under a new one......'

SPELL THAT IS...... Under a new spell... the wonderlust of a new fling or boyfriend always helped me to get over the old one. You ever have that feeling in your gut that you'll never move on or forget the old guy??!!! It's natural to believe that when someone isn't desiring you or calling you or texting you that somehow on some weird mental level that you're NOT good enough. Not true at all, but it comes in the form of what society says is normal for relationships. "Society" doesn't know squat about relationships considering they do not worship the Lord most High. For the sake of my life story though you're going to have to go with me on this one. Women are constantly trying to find themselves through someone else's wanting them. I never felt better when the last guy was on my mind and I found myself having a new crush on someone else. It helped ease the pain that I was never going to find someone that would understand me completely. Nevermind the fact that each time I was picking out the guy I was forgetting "THEY" were not picking me out. When you let that sink in that we are picking people out by the outermost layer of their being and have no idea what they carry inside their hearts. Much like picking fruit at the grocery store. You have the fruit that seems to be the best pick to your eye, but when you open it up at home it is rotten. The times that I pick the "offbeat" looking fruit it is when it is the tastiest or nicest inside. I have always been linked to the things that are the most attractive. I have a high standard of angles. It is why the Beauty Industry intrigued me so much. We are set up on angles and color to attract the most beautiful of clientele. It is what we do best in our industry that brings people coming back for more. The more you refine the angle, the more beautiful the woman or man becomes. Much of what we do in relationships to bring someone in, is in the outermost layer of who we are. By the time you get to the core you realize there isn't much there to keep it going. I didn't care when I was young, I wanted what I wanted. You do eventually grow out of that wretched phase if you care to, but just imagine I was going in for the most gorgeous of fruits. They were all rotten. I loved to look across the room and wait til my eyes would fall on what I thought was the most attractive person in the room. Most of the time it was me, but I had little interest in dating myself. I loved the cat and mouse game and can see just how much of what I called relationships was really about what I could control and liked. I mean I just loved the chase. It is a rush that is all it's own. There is no describing it's draw unless you compare it to a drug. It was my drug of choice at the time. I thought it much safer than the pharmaceutical drugs everyone said to stay away from. I mean it did no harm. No words were shared back and forth, no one even knew unless eye contact was made, then the person was left in their own minds and of course I was planning my next move in mine. How could anything bad happen from that? I mean unless the other guy felt the same way or understood what he wanted no harm no foul right? I loved being consumed in my thoughts about the next guy. The next possible love interest.